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This period represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “vanishing” hit the mainstream. Back then, the idea that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the peak of indignity. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an commonly pointless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online lingo.

Zoomers, a generation who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y elders could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive glossary to the terms this generation is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reaction is interested or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people bond while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, venting all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes couples who forgo having children to focus on their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal traits signaling a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks confirm your decision to pursue a partner. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful gesture.

J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {